


Once A Murderer, Always a Murderer

by InstructionsNotFound



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29148894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InstructionsNotFound/pseuds/InstructionsNotFound
Summary: It was a simulation!Kokichi should be happy about that, right?So why isn't he?
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 76





	Once A Murderer, Always a Murderer

**Author's Note:**

> this reads like a vent fic but idk what I'm venting about
> 
> enjoy

Kokichi retreated to the area behind the stairs, pulling his knees to his chest in a crouching position, taking refuge in the isolated silence the area wrought. 

His eyes stung, but not enough to make tears fall in a stream of regret. That may have been for the best. Any tears he shed surely would've stained his clothes. 

But then, there were footsteps. 

Light, and sure of themselves, heading directly towards him. There always were, after arguments like this. 

"Go away," Kokichi murmured, his voice hoarse, not that he'd ever expect the footsteps--- Shuichi--- to listen. 

He was speaking to speak. 

"I'm not gonna do that," Shuichi shook his head, his voice soft. Tender, even, as he sat next to Kokichi. 

Kokichi changed his purpose to staring a hole in the ground. 

They had played out this situation so many times before. It was all so… predictable. 

He needed to change tactics. To put an end to the cycle for good. If he could suppress his emotions long enough, that is. He missed the emotional stability the game had granted him. 

"Why not?" Kokichi asked, with a bitterness he didn't deserve to have. 

Shuichi should have known better than anyone how cruel the world could be. How cruel  _ people _ could be. 

Kaede killed Rantaro. Kirumi killed Ryoma. Korekiyo killed Angie  _ and _ Tenko. Even Gonta, the purest of all, killed Miu.

And Tsumugi orchestrated the whole damn thing. 

It didn't matter that it had all just been a simulation.  _ They still did it. _

But somehow, despite it all, Shuichi was full of hope. And Kokichi envied that. 

There was a pause, in which Shuichi shuffled his feet and sat down next to Kokichi, who forgot to flinch away. 

"Because nobody should be alone when they're upset." Shuichi answered, but there was distance to his voice, as if he was thinking about something else. 

"You're wrong, y'know." Kokichi mumbled. 

Shuichi didn't gratify his comment with a response, which only fueled Kokichi's frustration. 

"Some people  _ deserve _ to be alone. And that's the truth." 

"N-no, that's-" Shuichi tried to deny, his head back in the moment. But alas, Kokichi wasn't having it. 

_ "Sometimes I wish it wasn't just a simulation." _ Kokichi admitted, his words cutting through Shuichi's denial like a blade. 

There was a pause. Understandably so, a statement like that would've shocked anyone to silence. 

_ To wish the killings were real… _

"But then you would be dead," Shuichi settled on saying, his voice unsure of Kokichi's intent behind the statement. 

Had he just been lying, like always? Or… 

Kokichi shook his head halfheartedly, a confident, but bittersweet look on his face. 

" _ I know _ ," he said, like it was the answer to the universe. "But at least that means we would've been held accountable for our actions." 

"With  _ death _ ?" Shuichi said pointedly. 

"You don't get it…" Kokichi mumbles, instinctively pulling on his hair, trying to focus on anything but the stinging of his eyes. 

"Then explain it to me," Shuichi reasoned, not backing down. The response kinda ticked Kokichi off. Shuichi was always trying to be so damn understanding, it was infuriating. 

But Kokichi didn't actually mean that. He just wished there was proof that Shuichi could be self-serving for once, like everyone else. 

"Nishishi, you caught me, Saihara-chan! The real super secret truth is that I'm a nasty villain!" Kokichi feigned, coming up with yet another lazy lie. "Why else would I want everyone to be dead?" 

Shuichi didn't blink for a second at the farce. "You're not evil, Kokichi." 

"It worked the first time," Kokichi shrugged, recalling the killing game. Everyone had been so eager to write him off as bad news then… so why not now? 

"That was different," Shuichi prompted, with a shake of his head. 

"Tsk tsk. I thought I was the liar…" Kokichi sighed, making sure to look the detective in the eye. "You don't actually think that, do you?" 

"It was life or death," Shuichi persisted, though Kokichi had a sneaking suspicion that his heart wasn't in the words. 

"You really wanna know why I wish it wasn't just a simulation?" Kokichi began, gripping the sleeves of his shirt to keep himself grounded. "It's because ever since we woke up, everyone's been acting like it never happened! Everyone just talks to each other like everything's fine!"

"But Kirumi? She's a murderer. Kaede, Korekiyo, and Gonta? They're all murderers! Hell, I might as well throw Miu in the mix, too, since she tried to kill me." Kokichi continued his ramblings, as Shuichi listened. "And I manipulated all of you! Even talked Kaito into killing me. I want to blame Tsumugi just as much as everyone else, but at the end of the day, she knew we'd wake up when it was over. None of us did. We thought it was real.  _ Do you understand that?"  _

"So yeah, I'd be dead," He finished, taking a deep breath. "That's what's supposed to happen when you die. It's not like I don't deserve it. And at least then we wouldn't all keep pretending like everything's okay, because it's  _ not _ -" 

Kokichi stopped mid-sentence, as he saw the look on Shuichi's face. It was as if the words, the emotions, had died in his throat. 

"I think I get it now," Shuichi spoke carefully, this time. His voice as soft as sand. "But-" 

He paused, clearly holding back tears. 

"If you were dead… where do you think that'd leave me?" Even if the words didn't spell it out for Kokichi, Shuichi's eyes held all of the emotion he needed to understand. "Maki and Himiko, too. You died, and I can't even pretend to know what that feels like, but… I watched everyone I care about die. Victims and killers alike."

God. Kokichi was being such an idiot, wasn't he? 

"So, the killing game? I don't care about it if it means everyone's still alive. If it means  _ you're _ still alive-" By this point, tears were streaming down Shuichi's face. 

Kokichi cut Shuichi off, this time, as he wrapped his arms around the detective, burying his head in his chest. Comfort… 

_ They both needed it. _

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! comments are appreciated 😊


End file.
